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Rachel John: ‘Impostor syndrome is real in theatre’

Following an Olivier-nominated turn in West End-favourite, Hamilton, Rachel John returns back to the stage for the revival of Girl From The North Country. She tells Nicole Vassell about her exciting career journey so far, and how her faith has kept her strong  

The first impression I get when I speak to Rachel John on the phone is an overwhelming sense of energised calm. Despite it being 8.00 am for her when we speak – she in Toronto, myself in London – she sounds awake, refreshed and ready for a chat on all things theatre. She soon informs me that she’s armed with a cup of tea – an essential part of her relaxation routine, and proof of what they say about being able to take the girl out of the UK. 

At the time of our conversation, John is in the middle of a stint performing as Mrs Neilsen in the Bob Dylan-soundtracked musical Girl From the North Country in Toronto’s Royal Alexandra Theatre, ahead of its London revival in December 2019. A story that tracks the lives of multiple characters in a close community in Duluth, Minnesota during the Great Depression of the 1930s, it provides a snapshot of American society at a specific time, across class and ethnic differences. Refreshingly, the number of stories told and the way they rely upon each other means that each character is important. When working on a show with spread weight amongst an ensemble cast, John finds it quite the moving experience. 

‘I think it’s really powerful, and speaks volumes to the audience about oneness, and everyone moving together at a time when the world feels quite fragmented,’ John tells me. ‘This show has a lot of scene changes that we’re doing ourselves: bringing on chairs and tables, pots and pans, we’re all doing it. We’re creating this world by doing it ourselves, putting things down and connecting with them. I think the world kind of needs that now: a bit more symbolism of what working together can achieve. Hopefully, when the audience is sitting in the dark for a few hours, a bit of that is spilling over as well.’ 

Rachel John and the company of Girl From the North Country. Photo by Cylla von Tiedemann

Described as a heart-breaking and beautiful piece of theatre, Girl From the North Country, which was last performed in the UK in 2018, is a show that demands a lot of emotional connection from all who appear on stage. However, if there’s anyone who has the stamina to bring a soul-stirring turn, eight times a week, it’s John. The past decade has seen her take on roles that have made her a fan and critical favourite on the West End stage. From taking over the role of Felicia from Beverley Knight in Memphis to shining in The Bodyguard as Nicki Marron (and at some performances, as lead Rachel Marron, made famous in the film by Whitney Houston), John’s vocal talents and powerful range of expressions have left large numbers of audiences with goosebumps. 

Though her work in the West End and beyond has long been memorable, 2017 marked the start of a new moment for John, as it’s the year she joined the original West End cast of Hamilton, playing the strong and passionate Angelica Schuyler. Lin-Manuel Miranda’s energetic retelling of the life of United States forefather Alexander Hamilton has been a cultural sensation since its Broadway debut in 2015. With the hysteria spreading around the world, mostly from the strength of the soundtrack, it was only a matter of time before the show made its way across the pond. Happily, it was met with universal acclaim, with John getting nominated for the Olivier for Best Supporting Actress in a musical in 2018 – but unsurprisingly, there was an element of significant pressure upon learning that she’d snagged such a meaningful role. 

‘I think there’s pressure with every show – but there’s added pressure when something’s a success, a phenomenon. In theatre, I don’t think we’ve had a phenomenon like this for a very long time,’ she reasons. ‘The pressure will always be there, but I always have to step back and decide what I’m going to with it. Is it going to fuel me to go forward, or am I gonna buckle under it and say “I can’t do this?” Impostor syndrome is real in theatre; you can think, “I’m not worthy of this, I’m not good enough.” So when you get a show like Hamilton, and you’re in that rehearsal room for that concentrated amount of time, there are things I do to alleviate the pressure – like not looking at social media; not looking up people’s opinions of who’s played it before, because I know for me, that doesn’t help with the creation of what I’m doing.  

‘I’d be lying to say that I didn’t feel pressure,’ she continues, frankly. ‘A lot of people are auditioning; a lot of people wanted this thing. But to say that in the history of Hamilton, I’ll go down as the person who originated [Angelica Schuyler] on the West End, and was [Olivier] nominated for it as well, it’s massive. It was a door that God opened at that time and I feel blessed to walk through it.’ 

Rachel John in rehearsal for Girl From the North Country. Photo by Johan Persson

To say that it was a life-changing role is not an exaggeration – with the popularity of the show so apparent, John gets recognised by superfans of the show even outside of London; as one of a selected number of performers who’ve been a major part of the musical, she’s part of a niche and special club. Known for its use of rap, soul and pop elements in the telling of a little-known part of American history, Hamilton is also heralded for its revolutionary casting of people of colour in the roles of real-life historical characters. Literally inserting diversity onto a major stage, Hamilton has surely inspired a new generation of performers of many different backgrounds to pursue their dreams. It’s not something that’s lost on those in the cast either; for John, her time in the show was another opportunity to help young Black performers see themselves. 

‘I grew up as part of a Pentecostal church in London, so I was surrounded by myself,’ she explains. ‘Both my pastors were women, both Black from the Caribbean, so I kept seeing myself. You’re not aware at that age that you’re seeing yourself, but you are. Then you go out into the world, into school and work, and you don’t see yourself in leadership positions, or top management roles. You’re starting to go, “This is jarring, this doesn’t relate to what I’m being told on a Sunday” – not only who I am in Christ, but who I am as a Black woman. So when I started going to the theatre, it just didn’t appeal to me, even though I loved the music.  

‘And then one day, I watched The Lion King. I sat in that theatre and I cried through the whole thing. I kept looking down thinking, “Wow, these are Black faces.” I just didn’t know that that was a thing. The moment I saw Sharon D Clarke as Rafiki; that changed my life. She’s a full-sized, beautiful, realised Black woman, owning a stage. The only other time I’d seen that is on a platform at church, with someone preaching. 

‘So when I started getting these jobs and had people coming to Stage Door saying: “It’s so lovely to see people who look like me, or hear that you’re someone from my neck of the woods”… The messages that I still get on Instagram from young women and men, saying that seeing me, from Hackney, doing this and inspiring them… it was just everything I wanted and more; it made it more than the show. When someone says the words: “I see myself for the first time”? That’s worth more than money and awards because I know what if feels like to suddenly see myself for the first time, and go: “This can be a reality to me.”’  

‘If I think my life is in my hands, and not God’s, then I’m kind of foolish – because this wasn’t the plan!’ 

Something that becomes apparent in our conversation is John’s firm faith; her Christian belief has been a key factor in her decision-making processes when it comes to her life and career. When I ask how she knew it was the right time to leave Hamilton, after a year in the show, John confirms that as well as discussing with her family and agent, it was trust in an ongoing dialogue with God that helped her move on. 

‘I’m always talking to God about what’s the next plan: what’s the future, and where am I in it? Sometimes, that’s difficult to explain to people, but I believe my future is not entirely in my hands. I started off as a secretary and thought I was going to go into teaching. But I ended up at a Lion King audition. I didn’t go to drama school, I’ve not had any of that [training]. So at this point, if I think my life is in my hands, and not God’s, then I’m kind of foolish – because this wasn’t the plan! It wasn’t the plan to be on stage, or in people’s faces, to kind of be looked at or criticised, and it’s not easy. But I knew with Hamilton, that because I felt the happiest, the most content, the most fulfilled in what I had done with the role that it was a good time to pass the baton on to someone else.’ 

The idea of walking away from a good job wasn’t one that came without fear, either; her Caribbean background gave her an additional sense of caution. 

‘My parents both came here from Trinidad; my mum came here to do nursing then moved into midwifery,’ John says. ‘As an immigrant, every career thought was: “Save your money, stay in a job long-term, put down roots”. And when you decide to take time out, you have that in the back of your brain, the need to save and be sure. But as I say, coupled with prayer and talking to my family, I knew it was the right decision. I’ll always be a part of the Hamilton family – whether I get to play the role again, or whatever. I’m very proud to be a part of that.’  

However, having a break from a commitment to a show came with great personal benefit. For once, she was able to spend time with her family, and appreciate the other highs and moments of life that she missed – and ultimately, it’s been the best way to prepare for another new challenge: 

‘Now I’m back doing eight shows a week and I’m not completely tired because I’ve been able to spend more time with my family; I’ve refuelled.’ 

With a full tank of spiritual gas, and a cup of tea, you can be sure that Rachel John’s ready for the next chapter in her theatre journey, and as audience members, we’re lucky to be able to witness it. 

Girl From The North Country is at the Gielgud Theatre, London, until 1st February 2020. For tickets and more information, head to girlfromthenorthcountry.london/ 

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