The Modern GIRL’s Guide
To Adoption
Adoption is a great way to give love...
Babies are big business at the moment – just think of the furore made recently over Tom and Katie’s offspring, Suri. Bearing this in mind, it’s difficult to comprehend why this sudden interest in babies hasn’t filtered down to the adoption services. Afraid not. The news still is that there is a great need for more black and mixed-race adults to come forward and adopt. Although many black women harbour the need to procreate with their partner as an expression of love, adoption can be an equally rewarding experience. Providing a loving and stable home environment for a child has to be one of the most selfless and loving acts an individual can carry out. But despite the benefits, many believe that adoption is just not for them. Tanya, 37, an administrator from Enfield, is one such woman. “I’ve never given adoption any thought,” she says. “Although the chances of me conceiving naturally have dropped since I’m over the age of 35, chances are I’ll probably remain childless if I can’t get pregnant. I just don’t think I’d be suited to adoption.”
Like Tanya, many black women deny themselves the benefits of such a rewarding experience without even giving the idea of adoption any serious thought. But the truth is that more than 20% of women in this country will be childless as a result of infertility. Whether you have a child naturally or adopt, the feelings of being a mother are identical; it’s just another way of giving back love. So before dismissing the idea, why not get up to date on the facts first? The laws have altered over the years, but many people still hold outdated views about the qualities needed to become an adopter. See below for the latest information, keeping you fully informed of adoption news.
Could I adopt?
The truth is there are only a few things that would make it unlikely that you could ever adopt. Nationally, 94% of those who apply are accepted for adoption. So you probably will be, too.
But surely I have to be married or living in a sprawling mansion?
The adoption services recognizes that the family structure has changed somewhat since the outdated nuclear model, and thus single women can now apply for adoption, as can unmarried couples whether straight, lesbian or gay. Also, there is no upper age limit: some couples adopt in their 40s and 50s. And whether you’re renting or you own your home is irrelevant, as long as you can provide adequate space for a child.
But once I adopt, won’t I be left to my own devices – quite a daunting prospect?
No, not at all. You will continue to receive visits from a social worker to support both yourself and the child, as well as to provide ongoing access to specialists such as child psychologists and the experiences of other adopters.
What about financial assistance? Is there any available?
As soon as you become an adopter you will receive child-benefit allowance. Many adoption agencies will also make adoption-allowance payments to help you meet the needs of your child. Other means-tested financial incentives are also available, and these will be discussed by your social worker.
So, how do I sign up?
If you want to adopt, you should contact your local social services department. Assuming that you fulfil the basic criteria, you will be invited along to an adoption meeting to discuss the process; this also gives you the opportunity to ask questions. Next, you will receive home visits to build a profile of you and to determine what kind of child is suited to you. Then you will go on to the training and preparation stage. The assessment period lasts 6–12 months, but the actual time it takes to bring your child home will vary.
Can you point me in the direction of any further reading, open days etc?
• The Adoption Process by Ann Morris; published by Daily Telegraph and Jessica Kingsley.
• Adopting a Child: A Guide for People Interested in Adoption by Prue Chennells, Chris Hammond and Jennifer Lord; published by BAAF.
• The Child Who Hurts by Caroline Archer; published by BAAF.
Useful contacts:
• British Association for Adoption & Fostering (BAAF)
Tel: 020 7593 2000 www.baaf.org.uk
• Adoption UK
Tel: 08707 700 450 www.adoptionuk.com
